A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

See You In Hell, George (Plus A Meme!)

George Bush will give his farewell address tonight. Will I watch it? Um, no way. As the devil, I've had his number for years now and am warming a special place for him in Hades right next to my fiery ass. I'm sharpening my pitchfork and readying the other assholes in hell for his arrival.

That and I already know what he's going to say. Something along the lines of: "I'm the bestest president ever cause I dun crusaded agin' them Moose-lims who dun did Nine, One One. The Iraqistanis are liberated now and Afghanisland is Talibani free. I dun came in with a lousy economy and am leavin' y'all with a lousy economy. It ain't my fault. It's Clinton's. Now Laura and me are goin' back to Crawford Dallas to enjoy a kickass retirement. I might write me a autobiography about all the great stuff I dun decided on as president or I might start drinkin' again. Who knows? The world's my oil-ster! Nyuck nyuck! That was a joke! Git it? Jesus loves ya! Buh-bye, Bush 43."

And now for a meme. Like Can I just Say, I am far too cool to own an ipod so I had to settle with shuffling my iTunes. I'm sure you were worried about that. :)

Rules​

1. Put your iPod/​iTune​s on shuff​le.​

2. For each quest​ion,​ press​ the next butto​n to get your answe​r.

3. YOU MUST WRITE​ THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTE​R HOW SILLY​ IT SOUND​S!​

4. Tag 3 people to complete this!


IF SOMEO​NE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY"​ YOU SAY?
"Is She Weird"- Pixies

WHAT WOULD​ BEST DESCR​IBE YOUR PERSO​NALIT​Y?​
"Take A Bow"- Madonna (Yes! I am the coolest person in Appalachia, so you better bow down to the queen. Recognize, fool!)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/​GIRL?​
"Satin in a Coffin"- Modest Mouse

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'​S PURPO​SE?
"Raw Power"- The Stooges

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO​?​
"Violet"- Hole ("and the sky was all violet / I want again but violent more violent" Yes!)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIEN​DS THINK​ OF YOU?
"The First Taste"- Fiona Apple

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ ABOUT​ VERY OFTEN​?​
"Rape Me"- Nirvana (not very often, I swear)

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF YOUR BEST FRIEN​D?​
"Tromple le Monde"- Pixies

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF THE PERSO​N YOU LIKE?​
"Blue Jean"- David Bowie

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY​?​
"Gutless"- Hole (that's actually pretty accurate)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"700 Mile Situation"- Res

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSO​N YOU LIKE?​
"O'Sailor"- Fiona Apple ("oh sailor why you'd do it / what'd you do that for")

WHAT DO YOUR PAREN​TS THINK​ OF YOU?
"Monkey Gone To Heaven"- Pixies ("if man is five, if man is five, if man is five / then the devil is six, then the devil is six, then the devil is six" Cute.)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE​ TO AT YOUR WEDDI​NG?​
"My Prerogative"- Britney Spears

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNER​AL?​
"Rabbit Fur Coat"- Jenny Lewis (the COOLEST song in my catalogue)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGE​ST SECRE​T?​
"Spanish Caravan"- The Doors

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF YOUR FRIEN​DS?​
"Goodbye Blue Sky"- Pink Floyd

WHAT'​S THE WORST​ THING​ THAT COULD​ HAPPE​N?​
"About A Girl"- Nirvana ("I take advantage while / you hang me out to dry / but I can't see you every night for free")

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
"Intimate Secretary"- The Ranconteurs

WHAT IS ONE THING​ YOU REGRE​T?​
"Me Against The Music"- Britney Spears feat. Madonna

WHAT MAKES​ YOU LAUGH​?​
"Allison"- Pixies

WHAT MAKES​ YOU CRY?
"Store Bought Bones"- The Ranconteurs

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRI​ED?​
"Erotica"- Madonna (haha)

DOES ANYON​E LIKE YOU?
"Extraordinary Machine"- Fiona Apple (A girl can hope)

IF YOU COULD​ GO BACK IN TIME,​ WHAT WOULD​ YOU CHANG​E?​
"Melt Your Heart"- Jenny Lewis

WHAT HURTS​ RIGHT​ NOW?
"Sunshowers"- M.I.A. ("you wanna go? / you wanna win a war? / Like PLO, I don't surrendo" That's a little topical and odd.)

And I tag alana, haworth, and ambles. C'mon. You know you wanna waste time on this shit. ;)

11 comments:

JollyRoger said...

Everybody has at least one relative who lies so much, and so often, that you automatically tune them out if they try to talk to you. Such is the case with the moronic monkey, who I also won't be listening to. There's no point.

alana said...

Why thank you, but I don’t even have itunes. lol

Good music taste though. :)

I don't see any reason to watch the farewell address either. All the clips worth watching will be posted every where anyways and I find it much easier to wade through the bullshit that way.

Woozie said...

It would be amazing if Bush ended his address with "Jesus loves ya!" So unconventional, so random, so lulzy. I love it!

Beelzebub said...

@ Jolly Roger: Yeah, I've been trying to tune him out since March 03 but to no avail. At least it's finally coming to an end. But then, you know he'll probably go on the Sarah Palin Exclusive Interview Tour for the next six months anyway. Fuck!

@ alana: Thank you! And I'm glad to hear you haven't jumped on the iTunes bandwagon. I almost didn't but I have no backbone for these kinds of things. And your plan is also what I'm going to do. I'm just going to wait until the comedians have their way with it.

@ woozie: Hey, man, you know Jesus or god or one of 'em are going to figure into the speech at some point. Jesus is his wingman. Jesus is a Republican. Whatevs.

Can I just say... said...

Wow, your life's purpose is rather ambitious, lol. Those turned out to be pretty funny. What a great way to waste time.

Beelzebub said...

@ Can I just say: i know! That's a great song, too. And I heart wasting time, so thank you. :)

Haworth said...

IF SOMEO​NE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY"​ YOU SAY?
'Lets Spend The Night Together' Rolling Stones

WHAT WOULD​ BEST DESCR​IBE YOUR PERSO​NALIT​Y?​
'Only a Dream Away' Beth Orton

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/​GIRL?​
'Personel Jesus' Depeche Mode

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'​S PURPO​SE?
''Lead Me to the Rock' An Afro American Spiritual cant remember who by.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO​?​
'Dust Storm Disaster' Woody Guthrie

WHAT DO YOUR FRIEN​DS THINK​ OF YOU?
'Junior Kick Start' The Go! Team

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ ABOUT​ VERY OFTEN​?​
'Woke Up This Morning' Alabama 3

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF YOUR BEST FRIEN​D?​
'45 Forever' All New Adventures of Us

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF THE PERSO​N YOU LIKE?​
'Honky Tonk Woman' Rolling Stones

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY​?​
"'Waterloo Sunset' the Kinks

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
'Sabbath Bloody Sabbath' Black Sabbeth

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSO​N YOU LIKE?​
'Lucky Charms' Moldy Peaches

WHAT DO YOUR PAREN​TS THINK​ OF YOU?
'Old Whore Diet' Rufus Wainright

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE​ TO AT YOUR WEDDI​NG?​
'Its the End of the World' REM (lol i like that one)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNER​AL?​
'I'm So Tired' The Beatles

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGE​ST SECRE​T?​
'Ready for the Floor' Hot Chip

WHAT DO YOU THINK​ OF YOUR FRIEN​DS?​
'True Love Way' Kings of Leon

WHAT'​S THE WORST​ THING​ THAT COULD​ HAPPE​N?​
'Lucky' Radiohead

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
'IIIft of Air' Seal Cub Clubbing Club

WHAT IS ONE THING​ YOU REGRE​T?​
'Dinners Only' the Avalanches

WHAT MAKES​ YOU LAUGH​?​
'Being Someone Else' the Coral

WHAT MAKES​ YOU CRY?
"'Aint Goin to Goa' Alabama 3

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRI​ED?​
'Veronica' Elvis Costello and Paul McCartney

DOES ANYON​E LIKE YOU?
'Old Joe Clark' Woody Guthrie Lol sorry old joe clark that aint my cup of tea!!!

IF YOU COULD​ GO BACK IN TIME,​ WHAT WOULD​ YOU CHANG​E?​
'Rhythem and Blues Alibi' Gomez

WHAT HURTS​ RIGHT​ NOW?
'Stairway to Heaven' Be Your Own Pet

Beelzebub said...

You have a great taste in music. "Woke Up This Morning" in particular is pretty badass. :)

Haworth said...

well thank you beezle, you also have some good choices, ie the Pixies, Bowie and the doors inparticular, High Five for that!!!

However Britney and Madonna???????

Beelzebub said...

Thanks. But c'mon, Britney is great now that she's nuts. The baldheaded, umbrella-wielding, bipolar nut is a pop star I can identify with. And Madonna is the queen of all bitches. Courtney Love can't shine her shoes, even though I heart Miz Love.

Haworth said...

I have to say i do not mind Courtney Love, i have a Hole album somewhere!!?

Britney no never, im a bit snobby abt music, its the only thing i am snobby abt so i think its ok :)