A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Bush Just Wants To Talk

Top story: George Bush is an asshole and uses meaningless buzz phrases and I want him to go away. George Bush has labeled Hamas' "attack" on Israel an "act of terror" and has called on the U.S. to help stem the trade of weapons to "terrorist groups." George Bush actually said, "The United States is leading diplomatic efforts to achieve a meaningful cease-fire that is fully respected," in his weekly radio address. George Bush said that. Three letters: L, O, and L! I thought you didn't negotiate with terrorists, G-Dub? And what's with this "diplomacy" shit in the Middle East? And since when did you give a fuck about "respect?" Are you going soft on us? What's next, you gonna make out with a dude in public?

Oh wait. Anyway...

This day in history: Exactly one year ago today, Barack Hussein Obama II won the Iowa caucus, effectively ending the "march to coronation" Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton was expecting. I was happy when Obama won, because I knew he would be damn near impossible to defeat. My mother, however, was a huge Clinton supporter and didn't seem to understand that her preferred candidate got spanked. I had to explain to her how the caucus system works and even then, she was like, "But when does Hillary go?," like the caucus was an amusement park ride. In fact, my mother is one of those nightmare middle-aged women who almost voted for McCain because she was so bitter. In the end, she voted for Obama but not without a considerable amount of bitching and moaning. I have to admit, I got a little misty-eyed when Obama gave his victory speech. I guess you could say he cast some sort of magical negro spell over me with his oratorical cadence and cavalier black guy style. And I can't believe it was only a year ago! It feels like a decade!


alana said...

I got all teary eyed when Obama gave his speech at the democratic convention. I just couldn’t help myself and I got teased hardcore for it. lol

unokhan said...

from counterpunch:

"It’s certainly true that the minute the new Obama administration made any move, however tentative, deemed “anti-Israel” by the massed legions of the Israel lobby – stretching from vice president Biden’s office, through Obama’s own Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to about 98 per cent of the U.S. Congress, the major newspapers and TV networks, the think tanks in Washington, the big Democratic Party funders – political mayhem would break loose. The White House would see its prime political enterprise, the economic recovery program, immediately held hostage."

got him by the short hair

Beelzebub said...

@ Alana: He has that effect on people. Here's hoping he has the same effect on Congress. :)

@ unokhan: Yeah, that's bullshit. I remember before Obama won, the nutbag Christian Zionists (including Joe The Lying Plumber) were shitting themselves over what an Obama presidency would mean for the future of Israel (re: its utter destruction because he's a secret Muslim). It's unfortunate that he now has to whore himself out to these same people just to prove he's not the anti-Christ. :I

Woozie said...

I still like the idea of bulldozing the entire Middle East to make way for the world's largest Disney Land. Israel can survive if it agrees to be the information desk.

Beelzebub said...

That's a good idea. We've already built McDonald's, KFCs, and Krispy Kremes in the Middle East, so it's about damn time we Disneyfy it. Middle Eastern folks would look much better in mouse ears than turbans and yarmulkes anyway.