A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Vote Early, Vote Often

Something that has me intrigued is the early voting phenomenon. According to an AP story, more Democrats are casting early ballots than Republicans, even in beet red states like Georgia. This is a reversal of the trend, because usually more GOPers get out the vote early.

31 states allow early voting and, of course, Maryland is not one of them. At least not yet. We have an early voting initiative on our ballot next week that I plan on supporting. I would venture to say most Marylanders want it.

The pros: it stretches out the election period over a few weeks as opposed to a single 12-hour day, thus bringing more people into the system who would otherwise sit it out. Secondly, it makes it goddamn hard for lazy people to make excuses not to vote. And thirdly, it's way more convenient. Hell, I saw the other day on CNN that some district in Nevada has polls set up in a mall! A fucking mall!

Of course, early voting has its nay-sayers, chiefly my own dad. He whines that it'll make it easier to commit fraud. And I'm like, "Dad, people commit fraud anyway. At least early voting makes it harder (or at least more inconvenient) for Republicans to use scare tactics."

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Obama Will Destroy Israel, Plumber Predicts

According to America's new sage Joe the Plumber, a vote for Barack Obama equals a vote for the destruction of Israel. John McCain's hero said as much during an impromptu interview with a McCain/Palin supporter at a rally at some redneck locale this week.

At first, I didn't understand why anyone would say such a thing. But after I pondered it for about 10 seconds, it came to me in a flash of divine clarity: "Oh yeah. I forgot. Obama's a Muslim." Jesus Christ. But the really embarassing thing for Mr. Plumber is that Shepherd Smith totally called him out on this shit during an interview on Fox News. Dude, when you have a Fox News commentator calling you a bullshit liar, you should reconsider your tactics.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'm A Statistic

I lost my job earlier this month, therefore I've joined the ranks of the millions of unemployed. I'm not upset about it at all though; I'm young, unmarried, childless, and don't have any major bills or responsibilities. And I fucking hated that fucking ass, stupid ass job. Goddammit!

It'll be interesting to see how low the economy goes. I'd like to thank George Bush and Congress for fucking up in every area possible over the past eight years. If there is some kind of Lifetime Failure Award, I'd like to personally engrave one for each member of Congress.

Anyway, until I get something else sorted out, I'll be devoting much of my time to blogging, worrying, and generally wasting time. Sounds like a plan!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

'Religulous' Is Heavenly

I just have to comment on one of the best movies I've seen this year. Of course, I had to drive two and a half hours to the 'burbs to see "Religulous," because any movie with a hint of controversy is too much for my redneck hometown, but it was worth it for such a piece of cinematic excellence.

Bill Maher is a personal hero of mine and he cements that status with his snarky, smart comments in this movie. I loved it because, like he says repeatedly, he's just asking questions about all the dumb shit religion is predicated on. As an atheist, I appreciated that he wasn't all angry and in people's faces. He just calmly and hilariously broke down the dumbass beliefs that way too many in this world allow to infect their politics and thought processes. I think all too often atheists get a bad wrap for hating religious people but we don't. We just hate the stupid shit they believe. I can't fault people for wanting to believe that their sad little lives will somehow pay off with eternal bliss but at the same time, it's stupid and baseless. And that's the point Mr. Maher was making in "Religuous." Highly recommended.