A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Monday, February 16, 2009

10 Out Of 10 Historians Agree: Bush Sucked Ass

Historians recently released their rankings of our past 42 presidents and ole Abe Lincoln comes in at numero uno. James Buchanan, Lincoln's predecessor and the man who allowed the country to slip into the Civil War (and also our only bachelor president), comes in last. But who cares!

The best part of this new poll is where our favorite retarded president ranks. George W. Bush comes in at 36th; 36 of 42. I loves it. He ranked 41 out of 42 in international relations and 40 out of 42 in economic management. The Decider received his highest ranking- 24th - in "pursuing equal justice for all." Uh, yeah. Other than Gitmo and the Patriot Act and the Iraq war, I guess that could possibly be true. Possibly. Of course, 24/42 is an F, so it doesn't bother me.

I, of course, think Bush is our worst president ever but I'm content with his 36th place. Hopefully he'll continue to slide down the rankings as history continues to reveal what a breathtaking failure he was. Interestingly, Slick Willy rose from 21st place to 15th; it's nice to see how history and its judges have matured over the past ten years. And I say "matured" because I'm sure Monica was responsible for Clinton's lower initial ranking. Way to go, history nerds!


Woozie said...

For people who are mathematically confused (like I was until I remembered this), Grover Cleveland was President on two separate occasions.

That being said, I wonder who they could have placed below W besides the homopresident and William Henry Harrison, who is only ranked so low because he died within 30 days of his inauguration.

Those history nerds were just jealous that Bill was enough of a playa to have a wife and a woman on the side. Not to mention his hueg penis. I can't (and don't particularly care to) find the image online, but there was one of him from the early 90's with him sporting a tent. Not as big as Obama's mind you, but still pretty impressive.

unokhan said...

the faces come and go but the behind-the-scenes machinery --at least since the end of ww2-- pretty much stays the same. still, it's remarkable there have been so many in such a relatively short period of time.

hmmm, how did chavez do yeterday?

unokhan said...


DB said...

The crazy part is that 25% of people somehow think Bush was doing a great job! Wtf is wrong with people?

Haworth said...

I would say he is the worst ever but I was born with Reagan in power. Dont remeber Bush Snr and Big Bill was a legend.

Im not a big fan of John Adams where did he come?

JollyRoger said...

John Adams was a great, great man. The sacrifices he made for this country are truly stunning; he gave up his family life for decades, to either travel off to distant cities, go into hiding, or get posted overseas.

Chimpy, OTOH, has never been told "no," and the 25% or dso of his hard-core wingtards admore that as "sticking to his principles," which did not and do not exist. He's the spoiled punk kid we all despised back in high school.

Beelzebub said...

@ woozie: I forgot about Cleveland and Willian Henry Harrison. Still, I find Dubya's ranking pretty awesome. But not as awesome as Clinton and Obama's...oratory.

@ unokhan: I dun saw that he won. Apparently in Venezuela, they allow presidentes to run indefinitely. Must be a part of that kickass socialism we Clintonistas want in the Estados Unidos so badly.

@ DB: Like Bill Maher said, 25% is also the same % who thought Jesus would return in 07...

@ Haworth: John Adams came in at 17 overall.

@ JollyRoger: Yeah, he's also the dumbass frat boy we all hated in college.

Dani said...

I just stumbled upon your blog. Anyone who thinks that Bush was the worst pres ever is my friend!