A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Jon and Kate Plus Lying Bullshit

My favorite recent story from the pop culture front has to be the cheating allegations dogging America's favorite breeders Jon and Kate Gosselin. The Gosselins, of course, have an insanely popular show on TLC that follows their lives as parents to a set of eight-year-old twins and a set of five-year-old sextuplets and all the wacky hijinks that ensue. And also about how stressful it is to have so many kids all the same age. And how stressed Mom and Dad are. In fact, there's a lot of stress in the show, which is fairly amusing to me considering how they refused selective reduction on their sextuplets because abortion makes god cry (although apparently he's cool with people subverting his will by abusing science to conceive a litter of little premie ankle biters). Gee, ya think having so many kids might make you go a touch apeshit? Or want to fuck around on your spouse?

I clearly know too much about this show. I admit I got sucked into some episodes in the earlier seasons because goddamn, those kids are freakin' adorable! But now it's all about product placements and skiing trips to Utah and million-dollar mansions. Since Mom and Dad don't have to have to work to pay the bills anymore, they quit budgeting and taking family trips to Sam's Club and doing whatever other "normal" shit that people identified with. Now they have to fill their free time with banging their bodyguards and partying with college kids (allegedly). Because, gat dam it, having eight children eight years and under just doesn't eat up your time the way you'd think it would!

I have zero sympathy for Jon and Kate. I've read a few articles/blog entries online about how bad people feel for Jon and how much of a pushy bitch Kate is but they're both adults. If Jon doesn't want to be a reality tv star anymore, then he can tell the cameras to leave and get a real job to support his family. But look on the bright side- all this publicity has to be terrific for the new season, which conveniently premieres this Monday and conveniently happens to be all about their recent marital travails. And I'm sure I'll be watching and waiting to judge.


alana said...

I’ve never actually watched an episode (I saw them on Oprah forever ago, but that’s about it). I didn’t know they were rich now, but I guess that explains why they don’t look so frazzled anymore.

None of it makes any sense to me. We give these people money and fame for doing the most unspectacular thing any person with a vagina is capable of and, in the same breath, berate the “octomom” (whose been so dehumanized I don’t even know her name) for doing the same thing. Oh, but she’s not white or rich so I guess its okay.

Man America is so ass backwards.

Woozie said...

I had never seen so much as part of an episode until today. It seems more like a documentary of a failing marriage featuring eight children than anything else. She's a rancid bitch, he's a spineless tool, they're both getting rich off of her womb's high storage capacity, and I'm just shaking my head at the whole thing.