A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Monday, May 25, 2009

An Ode To True Patriots

Happy Memorial Day! It's America's favorite socialist holiday to celebrate the sacrifices made in the quest to defeat fascism and communism. Just so you don't think I'm ungrateful, I already lit a candle or two for the brave and courageous souls at Fox News who slave tirelessly to bring down the tyrannical President Obama and his band of communist cut throats in Congress. The patriotic sacrifices of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly need to be recognized, for their military records and years of public service allowed them to become the astute political commentators they are today. While past generations had to actually do stuff to be considered patriots, this gang figured out that simply saying stuff was good enough to illustrate one's loyalty to this great nation of ours. They truly took to heart the motto of my high school: "Words, Not Deeds." Wait, it's the other way around. Anyway.

In sum, true sacrifice is for terrorists and tax and spend liberals. The only thing we should require of our citizenry to win future wars is that they slap the "support our troops" magnets on their SUVs and memorize talking points. Classics include: "We're fighting them over there so they don't follow us home," "The oil will pay for the war," and "Mission accomplished." Allah Bless America.


alana said...

You forgot, "They hate our freedom!" lol

BrightenedBoy said...

It amazed me the other day when Karl Rove said that if forced to pick between Colin Powell and Rush Limbaugh, he'd choose Limbaugh to lead the Republican Party.

Colin Powell has sacrificed more for this country than the entire former Bush Administration combined, and he's had the courage to follow his principles in defiance of the party line.

What's more, those principles were formed through military service and knowledge of the actual world.

All that these repulsive talking heads have led comfortable lives free from any real problems.

Rove's selection of a self-righteous drug addict over an ethical, pragmatic veteran shows exactly why the GOP is failing.