A secular progressive (aka the Devil) holds the following truths to be self-evident.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Alan Keyes Is Bitter, Lonely Man

This man, Alan Keyes, carpetbagger, deranged narcissist, former 1996, 2000, and 2008 Republican candidate for president, former Obama rival in the 2004 Illinois Senate race, and author, has filed a lawsuit against Barack Obama and Joe Biden demanding to see evidence that Obama is a natural born citizen of the U.S. He claims that Obama's short-form birth certificate posted on the president-elect's website isn't good enough.

I'm no legal scholar, OK? But I do know that even if Obama wasn't born in Hawaii (like his goddamn birth certificate states) then he'd still be a legal U.S. citizen.

Peep what I copy and pasted from Wikipedia: "For persons born on or after November 14, 1986, a person is a U.S. citizen if all of the following are true: -One of the person's parents was a U.S. citizen when the person in question was born; -The citizen parent lived at least 5 years in the United States before his or her child's birth; -A minimum of 2 of these 5 years in the United States were after the citizen parent's 14th birthday."

Obama's mother was born in Kansas, right? So he'd get citizenship by virtue of bursting through her Kansan loins. So he meets the criteria, even if Obama's mother flew to Kenya to have him. Yeah, I know it says "For persons born on or after November 14, 1986," but it doesn't matter because Obama was born in fucking Hawaii. I think that's what irks the Republicans so much- that he was born on some sexy Polynesian island and not in the shithole, dime a dozen rural towns most people are (at least most Republicans...and myself, but I'm an anomaly). That and it's just another way he's too "different" to be president.

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